I don't know how it's done (hopefully something that can be removed - BCI or whatever) nor how i can secure myself from all that and actually gain back myself, my mind's freedom, my will & volition, my privacy...and ownership of my Life.

Some of these might be too-much . I know i've been played too much.
I've been a subject for a looong long time, more than anyone is willing to admit. However, regardless of how this list seems ~ conditions brew it.

Maybe i am supposed to become aware of it all. The why's vary.
{btw, i've wanted for a long time to post this. there's more that i'd like to post but i'm not certain if i should, and there's quite a lot that i know i must but i cannot get there. maybe during or after psychotherapy &/or explanations ?}

Summary of the implant's/tech's-used features :

• Produces frequencies in the brain.
  i wonder if my mind works on a different frequency than the normal one aka the one set by nature.
  
  
• Produces vibes in/on every part of body & organ.
  pulses to the heart (counting 3 so far).
  vibing the brain (hard enough to shake it - counting 2 so far).
  used to abuse & torment, if not torture as well.
  
  
• Receiver of voice in the Mind (various volumes)
  besides listening to someone in your head, it can seem like listening to someone from afar or next to you or behind you.
  
  
• Transmitter of thoughts.
  interaction is feasible.
  
  
• Transmitter of (my) voice.
  [other possibility : it's the thoughts before they get verbalized]
  
  
• //Transmitter of environmental sounds ??? i wonder if this is also true. If not, i wonder why this idea was created - i surely don't remember how.//
  
  
• Monitoring of brain activity.
  
  
• Monitoring of bodily functions.

• Shut-down vision entirely.
  (this happened once while i was sitting on a bench @Filopappou hill where i was led to and some folks gave a show while rehearsing a theatrical-act. Thinking of the event reminded me the way parasites use their host. / another instance is probable, during a night-walk at Syros)
  
  
• Receiver of images & videos to the mental plane/visual zone.
  interaction is feasible OR they create an image according to the person's will OR they create a will for the person and then they create the equivalent image. (maybe everything happens contextually)
  
  Someone said, a long time ago, during a projection, "make it stop". Maybe he wanted me to try for conscious-action while dreaming, maybe he wasn't even talking to me. Maybe it was a trap for what was coming (accuse me of choices or consent), maybe it was a prompt/request for a reason i can't even think about.
  
  There has been flashes of light (usually right corner of the right-eye), vertical waterfall of horizontal lines of light (similar to malfunctioning tv).
  

• Creation of an energy field, that can begin from inside the body and extend to being similar to aura.
  usage/movement of limbs is feasible.
  movement of the whole body is feasible as well.
  
  (unfortunately i've also experienced the latter while i was in a church and a priest swung the thurible towards me and they *pushed me back* [i wonder was what their intention & what was the result, back then])
  
  (and this! is how the 'energy trip around my center at the belly' was happening back in my mid 20's, something i thought i achieved over time. In Greek i used to call it 'δονητικό ταξίδι'.)

~*~

Reproduce Emotions.
Terror or fear, happiness or joy.
(easier than it seems since emotions are completely corresponded to brain-activities) And i cannot help but wonder, can "confidence" be reproduced ?

Copy-paste Sensations like giggles and shivers at least.

Cease the spark of thought.
(during '22 they [whoever was part of *they* at that time] projected "wiping" to the visual zone while the thought was being erased and i assumed programming was involved. During '23 it became apparent that it wasn't programming but straight-forward brain-activity-manipulation.)

Create a mental dome of thought-dissolving-incoherence
(i struggled in it during '23. Maybe the only good thing that can come after that struggle is the experience of it and the possibility in acknowledging it's reactivation.)

In the meantime, there are still (Nov 24) people that enjoy messing with my thinking
{saying words while i try to think or write about something. say irrelevant words when i try to find the proper one for whatever i want to articulate.}

Create mental/noetic void (not stillness).
(i realized this in '23, during a walk of Marley)

Latest "realization" Memory resurfacing
(the word is in quotes because it was offered for sure, so maybe all of the rest were offered as well since the focal point can be pointed towards whatever or wherever)

Additional one : drive the mind towards a preferred action (doing sums is an example, of dates, etc)

~*~

Maybe part of some peeps fun was to make me struggle as to keep my mind on a selected rail vs. derail the train of thought and erase it altogether (2023). i.e. : Alter the focal point of the mind (with sound, image, or both) and then erase the thought that was being processed.
Maybe this is happening for far more years than anyone can admit.

Maybe it was/is part of some peeps fun or job, to interfere & intervene to my thoughts - alter words or make it difficult to find the proper one. I suppose it was/is quite enjoyable or well-paid to mess with my memory-recollection process as well.

~*~

here's some thoughts & facts

here's an example of what could have actually happened one day, according to possibilities due to facts.
(post is in Greek but translation-widget is available)

Κάποτε νόμιζα ότι κάποιος έχει μετατρέψει τη σκέψη μου σε αντρική φωνή, επειδή έτσι άκουσα τη συνέχεια της σκέψης μου από κάπου (τηλεόραση αλλουνού; ραδιόφωνο; πομπός κάπου στο χώρο; ίσως παραγόμενο στο κεφάλι μου με την απόσταση να είναι εφέ;) .

Στο παρόν βλέπω 2 δυνατότητες. Ίσως δω κι άλλες αν αρχίσω να σκέφτομαι τους συνδυασμούς των δεδομένων, δηλαδή τις πιθανότητες, αλλά δεν μπορώ μόνη μου.

Τέλος πάντων, για να μη μακρυγορώ επειδή δεν θέλω να γράψω ένα blog-post για αυτό αλλά -απλά- να πω αυτό το κάτι... ορίστε οι 2 δυνατότητες :

1. Έχοντας πρόσβαση στη σκέψη μου, την αναπαρήγαγαν με αντρική φωνή.

2. Άκουσα την αντρική φωνή αυτού που είχε πρόσβαση στο νου μου, τον οποίο είχα μπερδέψει για ή ταυτίσει με τη "σκέψη μου" .

Φαντάσου τί ωραία που περνάνε τόσα χρόνια, παίζοντας εμένα & μέσω εμού, με όλες τις δυνατότητες που έχουν στη χρήση του ανθρώπου, νου & σώμα.

Φαντάσου τί ωραία που γλεντάνε τόσα χρόνια, αφενός να μιλάνε μέσω εμού ή ακόμη και να γράφουν {πολύ πιθανό & παντελώς εφικτό αφού πρόκειται για τη σκέψη, είτε μιλάμε για προγραμματισμό είτε μιλάμε για στιγμιαία χρήση}.

Και να ξέρεις πως είναι πολύ περισσότερα τα χρόνια... περισσότερα από όσα μπορεί (ή μπορούσε) κανείς να παραδεχτεί και για πολλούς να αποδεχτεί.

Ένα από τα χειρότερα του 'δεν ξέρω πώς γίνεται' είναι ότι ίσως και να μην μπορεί να βγει στην επιφάνεια το πώς (ή το από πότε)... εκτός κι αν είναι κι αυτό κάτι που λόγω διαφόρων πιέσεων έχει γίνει κοινή γνώση & σοφία αλλά δεν μου το είπε κανείς.

Το χειρότερο; Δεν είμαι η μόνη. Στον κόσμο όλο σίγουρα, και ακόμη πιο σίγουρα στην Ελλάδα.

Και τί παράδειγμα έχει δοθεί έως σήμερα σε αυτούς τους οποίους κερνάνε συνειδητότητα ότι "κάποιος έχει πρόσβαση στο κεφάλι τους" ; αποδέξου ότι είσαι γραπωμένος και αφέσου στη χρήση και το χειρισμό; προσπάθησε -γιατί λογικό είναι- να γλιτώσεις αλλά αν δεις ότι δεν τα καταφέρνεις άστο;

Τέλος πάντων, με τα διάφορα παιχνίδια και τους φαντασμαγορικούς έντεχνους χειρισμούς που πολύ θα έχουν διασκεδάσει έως σήμερα οι όποιοι, κατέληξα να χρεώνομαι ετικέτες του IC10/DSM5 είτε επειδή έτσι φάνηκε, είτε επειδή το ευνόησαν/δόμησαν οι συνθήκες. Και είναι πολύ πιθανό, πτυχία & καριέρες που με έθαψαν να θέλησαν ή θέλουν ακόμη να μείνω θαμμένη μη και βγουν λάθος.

Να σου πω όμως κάτι; θα σου πω.
Μέσα σε όλη αυτή την απίστευτη στο σύνολό της παράνοια, δεν είμαι η τρελή της υπόθεσης. Επίσης, γράφεται με -οι. Όπως και το άρρωστ. Η ελπίδα μας είναι οι α-σθενείς.

Τέλος, απλά να ρωτήσω το εξής ... το impersonate στα ελληνικά πώς λέγεται ;

Και τελειωτικά, αν είναι η ζωή μου καθοδηγημένη, έχω προγραμματιστεί ή/& καλουπωθεί από παλιά και πιθανώς να υπάρχουν data-points άλλων μέσα στο χρόνο... είναι έγκλημα κατά της ανθρώπινης ζωής ολιστικά; ή εγώ είμαι υπερβολική; μπορεί να είμαι, μπορεί και να μην είμαι.

Υ.Γ.1 : και τί καλούμαι να κάνω εν τέλει, πέρα από το να βρω/βρεθεί ο τρόπος με τον οποίο δεν θα είμαι "έρμαιο πειραμάτων, πειραματισμών & στα βίτσια του καθένα", χωρίς αυτό να συνεπάγεται ότι είμαι στο χώμα; Να γράψω τα συμπεράσματά μου; Να μιλήσω ανοιχτά για το τί βιώνω; Μήπως μέρος αυτού που *έχω* να κάνω είναι να "αντέξω. για πόσο; για όσο! και το νου μου στα κουσούρια" ? κι ενώ βρίσκομαι μέσα σε ή μεταξύ των Υπομονή-Αντοχή-Ανοχή, να κάνω ό,τι μπορώ ?
Υ.Γ.2 : θα βοηθούσε πραγματικά κάποιον αν κατάφερνα να *χαρτογραφήσω* τα χρονικά μοτίβα ; θα μπορούσε να σταθεί σαν απόδειξη για κάποιου άλλου το βίωμα;

I feel i grew more old than up, over the past decade.
it was supposed to be the most productive decade but instead it was the most destructive, the most dark & oozy. A decade that had just 2 good years at the beginning but the rest went by in freakin' games (some where mind ones - most were mindless), with a lot of "let her cry, let her go crazy", too much use, too much abuse, too much hate & many other vices. And i wonder... how much nightmare can a person go through without becoming a monstrous part of it?

Things we go through change us and that change is, sometimes, permanent. I still try to not be permanently changed even though i am very much different right now from how i used to be.
The bad thing, in the now, is that i feel i am far away from what & how i wanted to become. The worst thing is that i don't see things radically & drastically change anytime soon, so whatever i can create and eventually actualize whatever potential i have with whatever dynamics i got left, will just go to waste or be dissolved in idleness due to non-being.

I've been changed so much over-time and i wasn't even realizing it.
i remember when i started saying that i need to "swim at the bottom of my sea" someone said "they've changed you" and my inner reply was a sense that could be decoded to "i must defend that" - and so i did. i remember saying that people grow/change/evolve.

Someone called me a "pony" many years ago and i thought it was because i'm short and i used to make my hair a pony-tail. How could i know what s/he really meant? How could i know that they *ride* me and they can use me similar to a "trojan horse" that they can speak through and write through ?

I was speaking but i wasn't conscious of what was being said.
I was posting images on Fb, as a reply or reaction to what i was living, but i wasn't conscious that not all of them were chosen by me.
I was speaking but i wasn't conscious that someone else was talking through me. Unimaginable eh? yet, it is true.

/!\ Considering that i've been played with an AIapp (voice cloning) before AI got launched for the general public, I suppose it's the development of tech, besides subconscious programming, that's been used all these years. Text-to-voice is probably feasible until now, but also with voice-to-voice. Having in mind that from thought to speaking it can be less than a nano-second, the latter is more probable.

Maybe i/we experience Today's technology and the capabilities of ? and after some time, if or when it suits "their" best interests &/or according to "their" judgement i am being awakened experientially ? i don't know. i'd prefer straight-forward explanations.

All in all (with a lot more to be said for all the in-between)...
Consciousness Submission Agenda is real.
It is actualized with implants &/or psychotronic technology.
Involuntary Transhumanism is an inhumane practice, that serves only the ones that want to have people as their puppets or pawns.

i never had a "bottom of the sea to which i needed to swim" (i am not a whale) although i always enjoyed contemplating ~ sitting on my own, exploring ideas & concepts and noting thoughts.

i am not a rabbit (white or of whatever color), and it would be wise not to *follow*.
whatever damage has been caused - depending on how i've been used, let's hope it's reversible.

My Mind didn't "work with proPrismatic Essences and/so i explore metaPrismatic Fields", as it was noted in the Intro of this blog. It was very easy to create correlations & correspondences, to examine something and see possible interpretations , to use different perspectives/approaches.

I never used the Sisyphus-notion before. "daily dissolve the rock into dust and leave it in every 'now'". I used to thoroughly examine an event,  analyze the psychology of the participants (as much as i could and in whatever way i was able), introspect for character-personality-behavior connections

/!\ I never signed a Soul-contract.
although it was written at the end of my "for Fudge's sake" post, like this : "The only contract i've ever signed is my Soul one."
i might had in mind the philosophical notion of Lachesis, but still - since i'm at least superficially aware of what a soul-contract is, it should never be written because it is not true and because it can cause a lot of misunderstanding and trouble.

i'm sure there's a whole lot more to realize,
in words spoken & graphics posted during the previous years.
(we've been played oh so hard. // what was my *purpose* really ?)

along with the possible molding throughout my life, or even worse the leading of my life.
(i have kept a poem from my late-teens with the title "Black Shadows" which i understood some months ago while i was still at Syros. Along with that understanding came a variety of realizations.
One of them is that "¶8 Pilcrow to Eternity" is not mine.)

Let's hope that this post will not trigger the pattern : "if you do anything, know they are prepared" or another round of the terrible "let's see how she'll erase that!".

Maybe i am that much buried or that much ridiculed/stigmatized that it doesn't matter anymore ~ so i might just be more free to say whatever i want.

However, this year - 2024 - is the final year of a cycle. I can only hope that 2025 will not be a downhill nor a year of *choosing*. Hopefully it is the year that i will gain actual freedom & privacy according to Nature.

Last but not least, let's hope that i will find someone that is worthy to wholeheartedly trust and discuss everything from the day the 30's cycle begun and up to the day the discussion starts... and all of the past as well.

P.S.: i cannot understand why i didn't realize all the previous years of my life that there was someone talking in my head in 3rd, 2nd, or 1st person. Nor why i forgot about it after a certain age.